How to Write Wedding Vows That Feel True to You

One of the most meaningful moments in a wedding ceremony is the exchange of vows. This is where the world fades out, nerves soften, and two people speak from the heart—out loud, on purpose, and in front of witnesses who brought waterproof mascara.

If the idea of writing your own vows feels exciting and terrifying, you are not alone. The good news? You do not need to be a poet, novelist, or spoken-word artist. You simply need honesty, intention, and a little structure.

Here are simple, stress-reducing tips to help you write vows that feel genuine, heartfelt, and unmistakably yours.

1. Start With Why

Before writing a single sentence, ask yourself: Why am I choosing this person—every day?
This anchors your vows in meaning instead of performance. Your “why” is the emotional backbone of what you will say.

2. Speak Like Yourself

Your vows should sound like you, not a greeting card aisle greatest hit.
If you are playful, be playful. If you are reflective, lean into that. Authenticity always lands better than perfection.

3. Share One or Two Specific Memories

Instead of listing everything you love, choose a moment that captures your relationship.
A shared laugh, a hard season you survived, or a quiet realization can say more than a long list of adjectives.

4. Name What You Admire

Tell your partner what you respect about them—not just how they make you feel.
This shows depth and acknowledges the person they are, not just the romance you share.

5. Make Clear, Meaningful Promises

Vows are not only expressions of love; they are commitments.
Choose promises you truly intend to keep—ones that reflect how you plan to show up in marriage, not just on the wedding day.

6. Keep It Concise

Aim for about one to two minutes when spoken aloud.
Shorter vows are often more powerful and easier to deliver without nerves hijacking the moment.

7. Write, Rest, Then Revise

Your first draft does not need to be “the one.”
Write freely, step away, then come back with fresh eyes. Clarity usually shows up in the second or third pass.

8. Practice Out Loud (Yes, Really)

Reading your vows aloud helps you catch awkward phrasing and builds confidence.
It also prepares your heart for the emotion that may show up when the moment arrives.

Final Thought

Your vows do not need to impress anyone else. They are not for the crowd, the camera, or social media. They are a conversation between two people choosing each other—intentionally, imperfectly, and with love.

And that is always enough.

If you would like guidance, structure, or support while writing your vows—or want help weaving them seamlessly into a personalized ceremony—I would be honored to walk you through it.

Because your words deserve just as much care as your “I do.”